Are You Qualified to be a Professional?

When you put your self out before the public to render a professional service, it helps to have the certifications or credentials from a professional organization or institution. Most professionals have degrees from universities or certifications from professional organizations, or both. People look for credentials because credentials help build confidence in the minds of the public.

Many professionals have certificates proving their credentials. However, most professionals have neglected to take the final test. It is a self-test and it comes without certificate. But it is a necessary test, if for no other reason to prove to the professional in their own mind whether they are ready and qualified to render services as a professional – or if they would better serve the public by occupying their time as a panhandler.

There are only four questions to this test. Try it yourself and see if you are ready to be a professional.

Question number ONE: How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?

Correct answer: Open the refrigerator door, put the giraffe in and close the door.

This question tests whether or not you are doing simple things in a complicated way.

Question number TWO: How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?

Wrong answer: Open the refrigerator door, put the elephant in and close the door.

Correct answer: Open the refrigerator door, remove the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door.

This question tests your foresight.

Question number THREE: The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend except one. Which animal does not attend?

Correct answer: The elephant – it is in the refrigerator.

This question tests if you are capable of comprehensive thinking.

Question number FOUR: There is a river where crocodiles live. How do you cross it?

Correct answer: Simply swim across. All the crocodiles are attending the animal conference.

This question tests your reasoning ability.

How well did you score (correct answers)?:
4 out of 4: You are a true professional. Wealth and success await you.
3 out of 4: You have some catching up to do but there is hope for you.
2 out of 4: Consider a career flipping hamburgers in a fast food joint.
1 out of 4: Try selling some of your organs. It is likely the only way you will ever make any money.
0 out of 4: Consider a career that does not require any higher mental function at all, such as politics.

About the author: Dean Isaacson

General contractor since 1975 (currently with Idaho Contractor). Previously held Certified Safety Administrator status from the National Association of Safety Professionals. Expert witness and forensics in construction related cases. Will help you with project management and marketing. We do cold calls and trade shows.

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